Final Year: Hopes & Fears

Wednesday, 9 September 2015

As I sit in my family home for one of the final times this Summer, rain obviously hammering on the roof above me, I thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to tip-tap out my thoughts about beginning my third (and final) year of university. No doubt that this blog post will go live when I am already back in Manchester but, with no internet in my new flat for the first week, I thought it best to write before leaving Nottingham.

How two years in Manchester have already passed me by, I have no idea, but it has definitely been a bumpy journey. If you have followed my blog since the very beginning (two months after beginning university), you will know just how difficult I found the first year. Moving into a flat with seven people that you do not know, in a city that you are not familiar with, and with a completely new routine - you definitely learn things about yourself that you were not previously aware of. I've always thought of myself as a little bit different; I don't drink, I'm not a massive fan of parties, and my idea of a fun evening involves tea and Netflix. However, I hadn't ever realised just how much of an introvert I actually am, and just how much I let my anxiety control me. Learning this in first year, I really did struggle. Come Christmas, I was more than ready to throw the towel in and try something else, but I managed to pull through with the support of my wonderful family and friends. After a lot of reflection, I decided to embrace my introverted self. Now, two years later, I am 100% (well, 99%) confident in who I am as a person, and am throughly looking forward to moving back to Manchester.

Where do I see myself this time next year? Well, with a bit of wishful thinking, I will be beginning a graduate job in a company within the Journalism/Social Media industry, remaining in Manchester. That is my ultimate hope at this point, but the next nine months could change my mind entirely. It would be wonderful to spend a bit of time in London whilst I'm young, but the expenses really do put me off. Maybe that's an adventure for a more experienced Kassi - a Kassi that has graduated for a year or two already. As much as I love this little corner of the internet to be unapologetically me, I can also see it helping me to get that little bit closer to my dream. Along with writing for the Mancunion for two years, and having been Head Fashion Editor for one year (by the time I graduate), all of my fingers are crossed that that is enough to secure me a job that I love.

The fear? That none of my dreams come true. That every job interview I go for is unsuccessful because, although I'm a worthy candidate, I don't have 'enough experience'. That Jack and I will be separated on opposite sides of the country. That I have to take a job in retail to earn money whilst looking for something degree based. That I will be deeply confused (again) about who I am, and what I want to do. But hey... doesn't everybody feel like that in their twenties? The key is to remain positive - to reach for my dreams, but understand that reality doesn't always work the way that we want it to. To be patient, and remember that I will get there in the end. It would be just glorious for life to go to plan for once though, am I right?

Are any of you going into your final year of university, like me, and are feeling the fear factor? Have any of you just recently graduated, and are experiencing the fear factor first hand? Leave me a comment below!

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