The Peter Pan Effect

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

My Dad is forever telling me that I have always stayed true to myself, and grown up at my own rate. Never have I tried to be older than I am, and never have I done something that I wasn't ready for purely because other people my age were taking that leap. Whether it be alcohol, make up, heels, relationships, or simply being more mature, I have always remained at a level that I'm comfortable with. It's the 'Peter Pan Effect', if you like, of wanting to stay as young as possible for as long as possible - not wanting to grow up.

Despite feeling as though I have grown up quite substantially in the past few years, I am still that little kid at heart who doesn't ever want to reach adulthood. I have delved into the world of relationships, of alcohol and partying and going out, of dressing up in fancy clothes and fancy make up… my favourite change being make up.

Don't get me wrong - I have never been, am not currently, and will never be one of those girls who smothers as much make up on as they can. Foundation is a mystery to me. I'm more of a 'cover-up-your-spots-put-a-bit-of-blusher-mascara-and-lippy-on' kinda gal. The two things that I have found myself buying over and over, of recent, are lipsticks and nail polishes. As spoken about in a previous blogpost, I've gone a bit crazy for painting my nails at the moment, and have had these four colours over the space of the last week -

Smiley face Smiley face
Smiley face Smiley face

Before October, I wasn't even capable of painting my nails, so that's quite a big accomplishment for me! The lipsticks that I've bought in the past few weeks/months have been Barry M's green lipstick, that turns a different shade when you put it on (for me it turns bright red), Kate Moss 110, which is a beautiful coral colour, and Maybelline 442, which is another coral. I'm slowly but surely turning into a grown up version of myself… heck, I'm 20 this year, and 21 next year. Does that mean I actually have to be an adult?! 

I'm sure there are many positives of becoming an adult, and I cannot express enough how much I look forward to the time in my life where I have found the person I want to dance all my dances with, and we begin a family together. You can't do that as a kid, can you? But there are days where I miss my biggest problem being a grazed knee, however cliché that sounds. With adulthood comes responsibility, and an understanding that "the world is not a wish-granting factory" (to quote John Green) - a lot of your happiness will come from your own hard work and persistence, and not just somebody feeding you the answers like they do at school. On one level I cannot wait to be older and more experienced, but on the other hand I want to stay as little me, playing silly games on the internet and having somebody to look after me.

Can't I be Peter Pan forever?